Task Force Rules
by nefertani
Summary: It started as just a list of rules, but evolved into something much  more...  Matsuda is annoying as all getout, Aizawa wishes everyone would leave  his afro alone, and Light is a fangirl.  Pure randomness.


Heya everyone! This is inspired by many other fics I have read over a looooooong time, and I finally decided to do one. AmatureAuthor, I hope you catch that shout out XD

Disclaimer: Death Note, Snickers, Martha Stewart magazines, iPods, the Hypnotoad, Twilight, Goodwill, Banana Republic, Barbie Jeeps, Jurassic Park, Spongebob, etc. = not mine, mkay?

I hope have as much fun reading this as I did writing it. Enjoy.

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"MATSUDA! YOU NO GOOD THIEF! COME BACK HERE!"

Said thief sprinted through the halls of the Task Force Headquarters, a furious Ryuzaki in hot pursuit. "WHERE DID YOU HIDE MY CANDY? GIVE IT BACK!"

Matsuda let out a maniacal laugh before crashing into the opposite wall. He fell to the ground and looked up in fear as the irate detective skidded to a halt before him. "Uh oh."

The next day, a neatly lined piece of paper appeared on the Task Force's bulletin board, with a single, neatly written rule written on it. Over time, more and more things were added, until it became much, much more than just a list of rules.

TASK FORCE RULES AND REGULATIONS:

1. Do not hide Ryuzaki's candy.

2. If above rule is broken, you're paying your own medical bills.

3. Light's name is not Lightbulb Imagay.

4. Aizawa's afro is not a good hiding place for candy wrappers.

5. Or Martha Stewart magazines.

6. Or crackers.

7. JUST LEAVE THE AFRO ALONE, DANG IT!

8. Placing bets whenever Light and Ryuzaki get into fights is frowned upon.

9. No hiding the toilet paper. Especially in Aizawa'a afro. Matsuda, this means you.

10. Having Justin Bieber on my iPod is not a valid reason to say that I'm Kira.

11. Yes it is.

12. No it isn't.

13. Will both of you stop it already? This is getting ridiculous.

14. No parakeets in the bathroom, no matter how funny it seems at the time. Matsuda, this means you.

15. Will somebody _please_ get Misa a skirt that doesn't show off her underwear?

16. But those skirts look pretty on her!

17. Ryuzaki, stop being a pervert.

18. I am not a pervert.

19. Are too.

20. Am not.

21. Okay, this is seriously getting on my nerves now. Stop it, both of you.

22. Stickers are not to be plastered on Ruzaki's computer, no matter how pretty they are. Matsuda, this means you.

23. Truth Or Dare, strip poker, and Would You Rather are hereby banned from the Task Force Headquarters.

24. So are all magazines with Miley Cyrus, Justin Bieber, or Taylor Lautner on the cover. Light and Matsuda, this means you.

25. Those aren't mine!

26. You're not fooling anyone, Light.

27. Found: Large panda bear. Unhealthily thin. Answers to Ryuzaki.

28. Not funny, Matsuda.

29. Mogi is not a caveman with a buzz cut.

30. All songs from Spongebob are hereby banned from the Task Force Headquarters.

31. So is "Never Gonna Give You Up." Seriously, Matsuda, it's getting old.

32. ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD!

33. Matsuda!

34. Sorry.

35. Lost: One dark green turtleneck from Banana Republic. If found, please return to Light Yagami.

36. It's been a week. Has anyone found my turtleneck?

37. Seriously people, it's my favorite shirt.

38. No hiding shirts in Aizawa's afro, under any circumstances!

39. And no, Matsuda, "Kira made me do it" is not a valid excuse.

40. Found: One well-worn copy of Twilight. Has five unicorn stickers on the inside cover.

41. I think that's Matsuda's.

42. Has anybody here seen Misa's black skirt?

43. Misa, stop talking in the third person. And I gave your skirt to the Goodwill because it's hideous.

44. WHAT? Light, how could you?

45. You heard me. Now stop bothering everybody about it.

46. Attention: Movie night is Friday. Bring your own popcorn.

47. Can I bring potato chips?

48. Sure, Light. And yes, Ryuzaki, you can bring your candy.

49. Okay, whose idea was it to show Jurassic Park?

50. Uh, Mogi's, sir.

51. Good, then he's paying for Matsuda's therapy session on Monday.

52. Lost: One box of sugar. You know who to return it to.

52. Will somebody please turn on the air conditioner? It's like a sauna in here.

53. If it's so hot, then stop wearing turtlenecks all the time, Light!

54. Attention: Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?

55. It's good to know that you're fully recovered, Matsuda, but that's not funny.

56. I went to sleep last night, and when I woke up, my hair was sparkly. And sticky.

57. Don't let Matsuda near the glitter glue. Just don't. Light, this means you.

58. I didn't give it to him, he stole it from my room!

59. Why do your have glitter glue in your room, Light?

60. None of your business, Ryuzaki.

61. Ooh, can you lend me some? My skirt ripped.

62. NO, Misa. Everyone leave me alone!

63. Besides, you can't fix a skirt with glue.

64. Stay out of it, Pandaman.

65. Lost: One pink giftbox with a silver bow. It's for my daughter's birthday on Thursday, so I really need it back.

66. Lost: One copy of _World Domination For Dummies_. And it's for a school project, Ryuzaki, so shut up.

67. Lost: The Game, suckers!

68. MATSUDA!

69. Sorry.

70. Aizawa, I found your daughter's birthday present. It was in the supply closet. Sorry it's too late to give it to her.

71. It's okay, I bought her another one. I appreciate the thought, though.

72. What do I do with it?

73. Give it to Matsuda.

74. Ooh, a Barbie Jeep! Thanks, Chief and Aizawa!

75. No running in the hall. The coffee WILL get spilled.

76. What if I put a lid on it?

77. Matsuda, NO.

78. Attention: Somebody broke the soup. Light, can I borrow your glitter glue?

79. Misa, you can't break soup. It is physically impossible.

80. Shut up, Pandaman. I was asking Lighty.

81. Lighty? Ah, this is priceless! Hey Lighty, can I borrow your stapler?

82. The nickname Lighty is hereby banned from the Task Force Headquarters. Matsuda, this means you.

83. Hey, what about Misa?

84. Fine, but ONLY Misa. And stop talking in the third person.

85. The toilet on the second floor is leaking. Only water for now, but somebody better fix it before it's too late.

86. Ewwwwwwwwwww. Before other stuff comes out? Like POO?

87. Stop it, Matsuda. That is incredibly immature.

88. We're about to run out of sugar. Mogi, can you please get some from the convenience store across the street?

89. How much?

90. Five large bags. And a box of Snickers.

91. Karaoke night is Friday! Sign up sheet is above that hideous plastic palm tree.

92. Matsuda, no. And the plastic palm tree is not hideous, I chose it myself.

93. Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?

94. Stop it.

95. Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down. Never gonna run around and desert you.

96. Matsuda. Stop it.

97. Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.

98. Narwhals narwhals swimming in the ocean, causing a commotion because they are so awesome!

99. Matsuda is hereby banned from coming within ten feet of the bulletin board.

100. FINALLY.

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Hope you enjoyed! R&R!


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